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Should we play baby sounds?

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Advice comes from all directions the moment a family shares they are expecting.  Some of this advice is great and helpful while other tips just truly don’t make sense or can be dangerous when it comes to dogs and babies.  Our goal at Family Paws™ Parent Education is to offer practical tips that will help you learn what to expect and help you prepare for life with your baby.  The tip we are going to cover today is the one I hear the most.  Play baby sounds. ‘

In my experience dogs do not “generalize” baby cries.  Each newborn has their own cry. So, all cries can mean different responses.  There are many different sounding newborn cries.  Factors such as size of baby, preterm or full term baby can contribute to the uniqueness of cries and inquisitiveness of your dog.  All four of our children had VERY different cries and sounds at birth and for the first few weeks.  It is important that parents learn and practice how they are going to respond to their dog when the baby does cry. Inquisitiveness of your dog is to be expected and how you handle that will be greatly improved by how much you have practiced your response to your dog ahead of time.

Using pre-recorded baby sounds is a great way to practice how you will respond to your dog when they show any interest in the baby’s cry.   When you come home with your newborn you need to expect that your dog will be inquisitive and that the cry will get a response.  This is a new noise and something you are giving a great deal of attention to.  That increases the interest of your dog.  That said, it is also IMPORTANT that you always are sure that your dog never has access to your baby while you are not there.  You must always be the first responder to your baby’s cry!  Making sure your dog does not have access in anyway to your baby is a must!  AWAKE ADULT SUPERVISION is a must at all times with newborns and babies.   A sleeping quiet baby may be boring and uninteresting to a dog but….if that baby startles, cries or soils their diaper that can easily trigger sudden interest by any dog.  This is why we stress full AWAKE ADULT SUPERVISION.

So, some things to keep in mind and tips.

1.  IF you have older children in your home it is a good idea to put a lock that is out of their reach on the nursery door so that when your baby is in the crib their curious sibling is not able to open the door allowing your pets access to the baby.

2.  If you have older children and your dog is contained in a room and the baby is asleep in a swing or bassinet and you are not right there be sure there is a lock out of reach so that the older child is not able to accidentally open the door and let the dog out.   This applies too if a dog is in a crate in a room.  You must be certain that your dog is secure while you are not right there with the baby.  I always love using the baby video monitors too. 

I have used baby sounds over the years to help parents learn and practice how to respond calmly to their dog.  This practice really pays off when they need it.  Without this practice parents can become uncomfortable with their dog’s inquisitiveness and may react in an angry way due to fear or lack of knowing what else to do.  I found it helpful to say to my dog…”yep, it’s kelayann and I’ve got this…go lie down.”  This relaxed me and let me dog know that I was aware and all was under control.  It also gave them something to do.  It is important that you practice what it is you want your dog to do.  ex:  Go to your spot, go get your ball, go lie down.  These skills must be taught and practiced in a variety of locations in your home to be most helpful once baby arrives for the best results.

So, does playing baby sounds help prepare your dog?  Well, I think it really helps prepare YOU for how to respond to your dog and that is incredibly valuable.  It may help your dog to adjust to a new noise but don’t expect it to fully eliminate a reaction to your own newborn’s unique cry.  Planning ahead for a reaction and practicing your response will make everyone more comfortable in those first weeks home!   To get started right away we suggest Sounds Good Digital Download-Babies

If you have questions or concerns we invite you to seek out one of our presenters for more support!  It is important that if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe you get immediate support.  If you do not have a presenter near you please call our Dog and Baby support line so we can help you find the support you need.

AWAKE Adult SUPERvision

In our Dogs & Storks® and The Dog and Baby Connection programs we emphasize the importance of being proactive about where your dog will be when and in times where you may doze off. New parents are tired most of the time! Sometimes Moms are taking pain meds that can cause sleepiness. I remember dozing off while nursing due to the rush of oxytocin. Whether it is dozing off or nighttime sleeping It is so important that parents of babies (especially newborns) make sure that their dog does not have access to the baby.  In my own home with our daughter (now 2 1/2) we used crates and tethers to create “success stations” for our dogs.  We had 4 great dogs but the baby was new.  We made sure that each dog had their own spot and was secure so that when and if my daughter woke up and was crying…I or my husband would be the first responder to assist her

If there are older children in the home we recommend an out of reach lock is put on the door where the baby is so that curious siblings can not open the door and allow the dog in without Mom or Dad knowing. A simple hook and eye lock up high will work in most cases.  If you have the dog in a room and want to be sure that door is kept closed we recommend a sign on the outside of the door along with the lock out of reach to indicate the dog is “resting” and should not be disturbed.  These steps can give you peace of mind during those first months and beyond as you all learn to live safely together. 

Planning & practicing paves the way to prevention! 

Click here for webinars and more helpful information!

Mom, caught in the act!

Toddlers are awesome observers.  They also love to share what they know and are eager to express themselves.  There are definite pros and cons to this wonderful aspect of toddlerhood.  Every parent has an awkward “toddler” moment where their sweet innocent child has a public blunder and so blurts out something no adult would ever think of saying publicly.  We had one of those moments just the other week!  Yep my sweet angel announced loud as can be  “I farted…. it’s smelly as she waves her hand in front of her face.”  Our two teenage boys laughed and so did the men sitting behind us.  (Thank goodness)  So now as my daughter is reinforced for her grand announcement…. I am telling her that we don’t need to share that info…yadayada.  Ok, I digress!  My point being that toddlers keep parents on their toes as they learn and share their experiences.   This can be good and sometimes can be embarrassing or bad.  Yesterday was one of the good times. 

I was sitting on the couch and my 11-year-old German Shepherd was sitting next to me.  Kelsyann was drawing on the other side of the room.  I gently gave Duke a half hug as I am savoring my days with this old man who is not doing physically well.   I was just admiring him and how beautiful he is.  I put my right arm over his shoulder as I put my head close enough to smell him. 

Yep…. I love the smell of my dog’s neck.   Oxytocin rush for me!   Anyway, as I was savoring a moment with my special boy my 2 ½ year old daughter observed me from across the room and says “Mommy no huggies” I looked up at her and said “what?’  She then says    

“Mommy no huggies for dogs one hand pet.”  I had been caught!  I looked at her and said “ you are right Kelsy, hugs can make dogs uncomfortable.”  Ahhh she has been listening!  Although I might be able to be close to Duke this way…I have not encouraged her to relate to him or any dog this way.  This type of interaction with a toddler and dog is not safe.  I asked her to come over and show me what Duke would like instead.  She came over and showed me how to pet a dog with one hand.   “One hand mommy like this” as she stroked his back.  I had been caught and stood corrected. 

This is a great example of how our children are always watching and learning.  Often people say that 2 and 3 year olds cannot learn about body language or how to interact safely with a dog.  Here is an example of why it is important for toddlers to be exposed to this type of education.  Toddlers are sponges and can learn with consistent parent guided interaction what is acceptable and what is not.  That said, as a parent I fully recognize that toddlers also are unpredictable and although Kelsyann can verbalize these things she is too young to expect her to fully follow and respect these boundaries consistently.  Exposing her to this education early on sets the stage for long-term understanding and respectful bonds down the road.  Just as she is likely to “correct” me one moment she is also likely to run up to my dog the next.  That too is normal toddler behavior.  Knowing to expect a learning curve and testing from day to day and moment to moment with a toddler is important and helpful.  I have always included toddlers in private consultations and have encouraged parents to model and teach safe interactions with their young children as I have seen the benefits in my older children and many others.   Dog professionals can help parents plant the seeds for more successful and safer encounters by becoming more familiar with the developmental stages and milestones of the age of the children in the families they support.   Taking advantage of these early years can make a huge difference in the lives of many dogs and children!

Living and learning together…parents, kids and dogs.

Family Paws™ Parent Education is dedicated to supporting positive and practical advise to new and expecting families.  We feel strongly that by offering more resources and education we can increase safety and fun while decreasing stress and risk.  Every year dogs are turned into shelters or rescues due to the arrival of a baby.  Our hope is to help families feel confident and comfortable as their family grows and they include their family dog every step of the way.  It is with this in mind that for the month of May we will be offering our Dogs & Storks® DVD for $10 plus shipping.   We know that by supporting new parents we will be helping to set up the next generation of dog lovers for safer and respectful mutual relationships.   View the sample here and spread the word!

“The Pet Professional Guild – Force Free and Family Friendly!”

It is great when people can come together and create a whole lot of GOOD!  I am thrilled to have many PPG members as licensed presenters of our programs.  I look forward to all that PPG has to offer professionals and the public!  Stay tuned and read more!

Check out the latest press release! 

Force free and family friendly!

Dogs and Storks in the News!

I love it when we have great segments! Well done Jill!

Pet of the Week: Meet Maxie-Ann and Rocko: wwlp.com

Baby equipment and family dogs…playing it safe!

I am telling you as I stroll through the baby aisles and check out all the new equipment I wish they made some of these awesome gadgets for adults. These gorgeous and wonderful products are fantastic for babies but in homes with dogs, cats or small children parents must take extra measures to be sure that safety is a priority.  

Seriously the swings are amazing!  These are all fantastic products for newborns and baby but what we want to be sure to communicate that it is NEVER ok to leave your baby in this type of equipment where your dog has access.  When babies are in low to the ground swings, cradles or carseats a dog has a great deal of access.  Babies can go from boring to interesting in a moment! In the photo below you can see how a dog can go from uninterested to interested.    

Dogs may become inquisitive just by the subtle motion of a baby.  It is absolutely essential that an adult is watching and actively supervising babies when in low equipment on the floor where dogs may have access! Much of this equipment moves, makes noise, not to mention the baby can and often does the same.  

 Many of us are used to multi tasking and when we have a moment that the baby is not in our arms we are driven to accomplish something!  That is fine but please be sure to account for the whereaboutsof your dog/s.

Newborns are often in equipment such as the basinet above.  This is easily accessed by dogs, younger children and cats.  Parents must plan and prepare for the safest situation possible.  A newborn is new to the entire family.  It takes time to develop a relationship and familiarity.  Just as toddlers can unintentionally injure a new baby sibling, dogs and cats also can unintentionally harm them as well.  

My intention in writing this is to remind new parents as they enjoy their baby and all of this fun equipment that they need to be sure they are setting everyone up for success.  Newborns must be supervised around young siblings, cats and dogs.  

Provide “success stations” for your pet such as crates, gates and “indoor tethering”  When baby is napping make sure they are in a room with a closed solid door and take advantage of all the wonderful options of baby monitors on the market.  

Dogs often do very well with adjusting to life with a newborn.  It is up to parents to guide and supervise them especially in these first weeks of life so that everyone can be safe and comfortable as they become familiar with one another.

Please check out our parent resources and webinars often as we are always adding new topics.  Contact us with your questions at info @ familypaws dot com 

Plan, prepare and predict to prevent!  Enjoy!

Subtle and silent dog communication offers insight for parents!

Whenever I talk about dog body language I tell folks to look for the most subtle signals and then ask…WHO, WHAT WHERE, WHEN AND WHY might their dog be displaying these signals at the moment.  Below are some images I took a year ago with my daughter playing in her sandbox and our senior shepherd near by.  What do you notice in this sequence?

Duke is relaxed and Kelsyann is playing while my son watches. 

Duke is aware that Kelsyann has gotten up and he shifts his head positioning. 

Duke shows displaced behavior (scratching) in response to kelsyann moving and the unpredictability of her actions.   

Duke is licking and self soothing a bit now that Kelsyann is sitting and no longer standing and moving about. 

Duke is looking to see what Kelsyann is doing.

Duke relaxes once again. 

Duke is calm but is also aware and reacting to the actions of the unpredictable toddler.  Many families are not aware that these subtle signals are communication.  I know I was not and now that I know…I am much more able to assist my dog when he indicates discomfort, stress or anxiety.    Learning a little bit can really help increase safety and decrease stress for dogs, parents and kids!  These are lessons that once parents are aware they are better able to help their children become aware as they grow too!  

Differences in communication from the start!

  miscommunication between kids and dogs happens due to the difference in communication.  Kids model and learn from adult Humans.  We (thank goodness) rely on different senses and animation to communicate together.  It is natural for children to use our human communication skills with dogs unless taught otherwise.  Here are some examples.

Human babies bond with Mom with eye contact even moments after birth. Puppies ar Eye contact is a strong bonding, greeting and connecting point that kids learn, model and then expect from dogs.  Dogs can become uncomfortable with direct approaching eye contact at eye level with them from especially an unfamiliar child.  

They will often offer a tongue flick (licking lips) as an indication of stress or as an attempt to increase distance.  That is what they would do with another dog. Below Moose licks his lips as Kayleigh is too close and is looking directly at him.  He is wanting some space.  (yep old photos from my home 10 years ago) 

Puppies and dogs use sense of smell from birth as a way to learn about their environment and to stay safe and close to Mom in the early days.  Sniffing for dogs is a necessary and important part of greeting….aren’t you gladyou are not a dog for this one!?!

We offer affection to one another especially our kids with hugs and kisses.  It is natural for kids to think this is the way to show love for their dog or cat.  We must educate them that dogs and other living creatures may not be comfortable with this.  

Hugs are enjoyable when shared by two people who have a comfort level with one another.  They are NOT comfortable for every human being nor for us with someone we do not know. Dogs have other ways of showing affection through play and body language.  We must not expect dogs to enjoy our human forms of affection.

Dogs indicate stress through signals they use with one another.  In the above photo you can see my dog indicate discomfort when my son (again years before I knew better) was hugging her.  She is licking her lips and turning away in the bottom image.  I am sitting right there not noticing or knowing any better.  The top image with the shepherd is also my dog and other son.  he is lying on her hugging her.  Again, I too had to learn alot even though I grew up showing dogs and living in a home with 6 dogs at most times.  I have learned alot over the years and hope this helps you.

What I learned as a parent with kids and dogs together in the home is that I needed to recognize the subtle signals my dogs readily offered so that I could help they and my children live comfortably and safely together. I had a great deal of adjusting of my expectations and what I thought I knew.  Living with a dog without kids is very different than living with a dog with children.  Once there are kids in the home there is a greater responsibility to become educated so that you can increase safety and comfort for all.  

This was the driving force and remains to be the driving force behind all that I do.  I am proud and happy to say that we  have never had a bite in our home.  But…..that for many years was not due to my knowledge…it was due to the amazing nature of our dogs to adapt and love us even when we make mistakes and misunderstand them.  I am so glad that I know so much more now to make my dogs and children’s lives blend in a comfortable way for both.   

3 News Anchors….3 bites…the patterns…What can we learn?

The news story with the anchor woman this week went all over the world and people everywhere have taken sides or expressed opinions….myself included. This is just a reminder of the need for more education.  I am so sorry that this has happened and am not looking to blame the anchor woman but rather point out some common patterns so that more people can be educated and not experience this situation.  

What I want to point out in this post are three triggers in 3 different TV interviews with dogs that have bitten. The perception of the bites varies from funny to horrifying largely based on the look of the dog. The reality though is that each of these bites had the same subtle warnings that were missed by the people on the scene. Often the commentary is that it was out of the blue or all was going fine…not so. Here are the common factors in these situations:

1. unfamiliar person approaches dog

2. Person reaches for dog when dog is showing signals of stress. (licking lips, turning away, backing away etc)

3. Person leans over or towards dog

In this clip below there will be a follow up commentary. All was going well they say.

In this one in particular the dog was put in a bad situation. New handler and reporter in his face. I am not sayingthe bite was the appropriate response but the above patterns were there.

1. unfamiliar person approaches dog

2. Person reaches for dog when dog is showing signals of stress. (licking lips, turning away, backing away etc)

3. Person leans over or towards dog 

In this clip below Barney The Presidential dog bites a reporter.  Barney is CLEAR from the beginning that he does not want to be there.  in the first several seconds he is turning away and moving back as the woman approaches saying his name.  The reporter who is squatting down stands up and Barney moves forward a bit after him.  Then watch the next time the reporter squats down. Look for the common pattern.

What is the mood following this bite? Humor.  He is a small dog and “bites” are more accepted by small dogs.  This is very unfortunate.  Dogs that bite are not comfortable.  The size and breed should never justify a bite.  What if barney was a Larger dog?  Would the situation be funny then?  I realize this man’s bite wound was less sever but the his behavior and the patterns were still there.  We need to respect what dogs indicate and be more aware so they succeed.  Again, the 3 elements of pattern were there.

1. unfamiliar person approaches dog

2. Person reaches for dog when dog is showing signals of stress. (licking lips, turning away, backing away etc)

3. Person leans over or towards dog

Below is my commentary on the bite to the anchor woman this past week.  I slowed it down so that the signs can be seen clearly.  The three elements are there.  We need to learn from these situations.  These are adults….kids do what adults do and end up in ER all the time.  Please rethink how you behave around a dog.  Dogs communicate perfectly as dogs…not people. Take a moment and watch this clip.  I hope that this is information that is helpful! 

I want to offer some tips to help decrease the risks to people of all ages.

1. Always keep in mind that not all dogs want to interact

2. Get familiar with subtle body language dogs offer that indicate stress. (doggonesafe.com)

3. Put your side to the dog vs. facing head on.  Allow them to choose to engage or not  Turning away or moving away is a big signal that they do not want to interact.

4.  When petting a dog, pause after a moment and see if they “want more” or do they opt out and walk away or shake off.  Respect this!

There are many more tips and great posts floating around.  Here is a link to a great poster about how to greet a dog.